Now, 99.999% of the time when it comes to ‘love’ the answer is no as to ‘is this the one’.
But, it doesn’t matter whether the woman is 22 or 52 or 72 – ‘ITTO’ occurs…if not for themselves, then perhaps a single friend, or even sometimes stress-testing their own relationship.
And don’t think such love can’t or doesn’t happen instantly-ish with women. (Note: what we men call instant love might more correctly be termed instant lust).
As an article in Psychology Today pointed out, admittedly from a Redbook Magazine Survey, 23% of the 2000+ married respondents “knew he was the one” immediately. An additional 25% “knew after a few weeks”. That’s basically half knowing pretty damn quickly.
Timing is an extremely important part of ‘being in love’
Now this survey may’ve had women wearing rose-tinted glasses when hindsight viewing – but it also illustrates one very, very, very important aspect – timing.
It cuts both ways; but, any partner who is a good-enough match (Mr Right Now) on core values, sexual attraction and personality features, has a good chance of suddenly becoming ‘the one’ when two other components are in place – mutual emotional maturity and situational readiness (self-explanatory terms from Psychology Today).
Emotional maturity is what it says – and arguably a state of being (myself included) that many men don’t even begin to attain until they’re into their 30s.
The situational readiness line refers to the fact that at some stage, most people are ready or prepared to take on the commitment implied in becoming an ‘item’.
As well, a woman’s biological clock is always ticking in the background, so the ability and desire to have children plays a major role.
And this boils down to a game within a game when it comes love and lust, sex and longing. Women are questioning, both themselves and around their friends, ITTO?
Before you know it, you may have found yourself as the male lead in a romantic adventure not necessarily of your making.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that – just be aware that that’s the element in play.